TOO Much Weight on Type?

Hi Vicky Jo,

I don’t mean for this question to be too personal, but I was just wondering if you ever find yourself putting TOO much weight on type. Lately, I’ve noticed that I tend to let a person’s type make my decisions for me – with regards to moving forward or holding back. I don’t know if this is smart or unhealthy. Curious to hear your input…

Gina

Well I’m a typehead, so I may not be the best person to answer your question.

The thing to pay attention to is whether you are using type to restrict or to empower. If you’re using it to empower, then more power to you. If you’re using it to limit, then that may indicate a problem.

As a coach, I am often putting it out there with my clients to create “common ground.” So I might say, “I hear your extraversion on this topic, and that’s great. And for me, I have a more introverted perspective; would you like to hear it?” Something like that, so that we’re always using it as a foundation to build on and grow from.

(Note: that’s a developed skill; not a natural one.)

What you *don’t* want to do is say, “Oh, he’s an extravert; I can’t be friends with him,” or, “she uses Sensing so she’s too stupid to talk to.” That would be bad.

You *can* use it to be cautious with and make decisions from, however. For instance, there are some people I just don’t get into it with because I know I don’t have the energy and the stamina to prevail. I only have so much energy (libido) to live my life with. So I prefer to be like water, and flow where gravity is with me, not against me. To the extent I can, that is. (Only you know in your heart whether you’re avoiding something you *ought* to be confronting.)

Type is meant to help us understand and relate to one another better — not to judge and dismiss anyone. That would be a Shadow practice. So I guess “putting too much weight on type” might imply using it poorly rather than using it effectively.

Is this the kind of answer you were seeking? Does this help you….?

Please let me know.

-Vicky Jo