Comments on: Clash of the Feeling Functions http://www.typeinsights.com/blog/clarifying-type/clash-of-the-feeling-functions/ insights into psychological type models Tue, 05 Oct 2010 13:06:30 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Vicky Jo http://www.typeinsights.com/blog/clarifying-type/clash-of-the-feeling-functions/#comment-4 Vicky Jo Sun, 27 May 2007 06:50:00 +0000 http://www.typeinsights.com/TypeArticles/?p=28#comment-4 Sarah -<br/><br/>I can't think of any time when you've ever "offended" me with your undeveloped Fe.<br/><br/>I *can* think of times when undeveloped Fe didn't serve you the best, but that's me backseat driving! ;-D<br/><br/>I'll make you a deal: if I ever feel offended by your undeveloped Fe, I'll let you know. <br/><br/>And, in exchange, you'll let me know if my lack of consciousness around Fi rubs you the wrong way.<br/><br/>Deal? Sarah -

I can’t think of any time when you’ve ever “offended” me with your undeveloped Fe.

I *can* think of times when undeveloped Fe didn’t serve you the best, but that’s me backseat driving! ;-D

I’ll make you a deal: if I ever feel offended by your undeveloped Fe, I’ll let you know.

And, in exchange, you’ll let me know if my lack of consciousness around Fi rubs you the wrong way.

Deal?

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.typeinsights.com/blog/clarifying-type/clash-of-the-feeling-functions/#comment-3 Anonymous Fri, 25 May 2007 17:56:00 +0000 http://www.typeinsights.com/TypeArticles/?p=28#comment-3 Although I am a dominant Fi person, I can easily understand how many people have come to see the introverted feeling function as being "selfish." There are times when I feel that way about my own behavior when I compare it with that of others. I hate to think that I may have inadvertently offended numerous people over the course of my life due to my tuning into my own feelings and reactions instead of theirs! The problem (I think) is that I can't seem to force myself to express my feelings conventionally in ways that others immediately recognize. Either I feel the same way the other person does, in which case I'm voicing my own strong feelings for the both of us, or I don't really know how you feel, but I feel badly knowing THAT you feel badly (even if I may be unable to actually "empathize" with you).<br/><br/>I think maybe there's a difference between empathy and compassion? Resonating with anything that seems to be worth valuing and living by those values, which means that means that very few words need to be said in such situations -- well, I just know when I run into something or someone worth caring intensely about, and if I meet a like-minded person, we don't even have to talk about what we care deeply about and why -- we just enjoy living (and watching each other live) in a way that matches our values. <br/><br/>I feel compassion for others who are suffering because compassion for those who suffer is inherently worth valuing, BUT I am often totally unable to express it conventionally through soothing words and conventional expressions of care and concern. Most of the time I freeze up if I feel I'm expected to do that. I think about that suffering person or that horrible situation for days and I feel very comassionate internally, but every time I've tried to overcome my resistance to talking in such situations, it comes out as inane babbling. And if I try to register emotion in my face purely in order to satisfy others, that also feels fake to me (I can feel the fakeness in my muscles!), which means that I often give up trying to express concern, even if I feel it internally very strongly. I bet there are a lot of people in this world who feel I don't care about their problems and situations because I said and did nothing overt about it. So.. it's a problem. I'm much better at showing people nonverbally that I love and care about them -- making them a great dinner, giving them a drawing, fixing something for them that they never had time to repair, etc... But those aren't the traditional, expected, conventional ways of expressing caring, and perhaps Fe preferring people don't resonate with that and that's why it's so easy to see it as being selfish or self-absorbed. <br/><br/>Sarah <br/>ISFP<br/>ps: if I've ever offended you by my underdeveloped Fe, please let me know!!! I promise, I'm really not as self-absorbed as I might have appeared at the time. :) Although I am a dominant Fi person, I can easily understand how many people have come to see the introverted feeling function as being “selfish.” There are times when I feel that way about my own behavior when I compare it with that of others. I hate to think that I may have inadvertently offended numerous people over the course of my life due to my tuning into my own feelings and reactions instead of theirs! The problem (I think) is that I can’t seem to force myself to express my feelings conventionally in ways that others immediately recognize. Either I feel the same way the other person does, in which case I’m voicing my own strong feelings for the both of us, or I don’t really know how you feel, but I feel badly knowing THAT you feel badly (even if I may be unable to actually “empathize” with you).

I think maybe there’s a difference between empathy and compassion? Resonating with anything that seems to be worth valuing and living by those values, which means that means that very few words need to be said in such situations — well, I just know when I run into something or someone worth caring intensely about, and if I meet a like-minded person, we don’t even have to talk about what we care deeply about and why — we just enjoy living (and watching each other live) in a way that matches our values.

I feel compassion for others who are suffering because compassion for those who suffer is inherently worth valuing, BUT I am often totally unable to express it conventionally through soothing words and conventional expressions of care and concern. Most of the time I freeze up if I feel I’m expected to do that. I think about that suffering person or that horrible situation for days and I feel very comassionate internally, but every time I’ve tried to overcome my resistance to talking in such situations, it comes out as inane babbling. And if I try to register emotion in my face purely in order to satisfy others, that also feels fake to me (I can feel the fakeness in my muscles!), which means that I often give up trying to express concern, even if I feel it internally very strongly. I bet there are a lot of people in this world who feel I don’t care about their problems and situations because I said and did nothing overt about it. So.. it’s a problem. I’m much better at showing people nonverbally that I love and care about them — making them a great dinner, giving them a drawing, fixing something for them that they never had time to repair, etc… But those aren’t the traditional, expected, conventional ways of expressing caring, and perhaps Fe preferring people don’t resonate with that and that’s why it’s so easy to see it as being selfish or self-absorbed.

Sarah
ISFP
ps: if I’ve ever offended you by my underdeveloped Fe, please let me know!!! I promise, I’m really not as self-absorbed as I might have appeared at the time. :)

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