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by
Thomas J. Leonard, Coach
That
much is pretty obvious. But talk and listen about what,
exactly? The purpose of this article is to provide you
with a list of recommended topics for discussion during a
coaching session.
Most clients eventually get around to all of
these topics, but don't think you have to share about a
subject you are not ready to or not comfortable
discussing. You have the right to set boundaries which let
you get the most from your coaching.
Wins are the purpose of coaching. When you reach a goal,
accomplish a task, have something great happen to you -
share these with your coach. Your coach wants to know. And
sharing these with someone who can really listen makes the
win even more rewarding and sets you up strongly for the
next one.
Life
does have its share of - yes - we'll call them problems:
the contract was cancelled, the employee left
unexpectedly, you caught the flu before the big
performance/presentation. Hey, talk about these with your
coach - don't keep them inside. Just by communication with
someone who cares takes away some of the sting. And, once
you've been heard, the solution (and there is ALWAYS a
solution) can present itself. It is worth sharing even
those events which "really aren't a problem,
but..."
Did
something happen that really knocked you for a loop? Did
someone treat you poorly? Did you step over something with
a colleague? Did you blow a perfect opportunity (not
possible, but you may still be upset by it, so talk about
it!)? Your coach is trained - yes, trained to listen to
your upsets and help you sort out what happened and design
a plan to get through this one and help prevent it from
happening again.
An
insight is like an "a-ha" or a "clunk."
Basically, a truth that you just realized. Insights help
you realign with yourself and your vision. When you have
one, share it. Because after the insight, results follow,
especially when you have been able to articulate the
"real" insight with your coach. (Your coach will
help you in this process. Often, there is a series of
insights which are linked and the coach helps put these in
perspective.)
A
breakthrough is a combination of an insight, a win and an
alignment with truth. After you've had a breakthrough, you
feel great: energized, ready for action, relieved and
clear. But a breakthrough without follow through is a
temporary high and can be addictive, So, share the
breakthrough, but be ready to validate it with action or
an accomplishment.
"Should
I do X or Y?" A coach can help you make a better
decision. Talk about your options, create a new one and
get some perspective on the whole thing. Maybe doing
nothing is the best choice.
People
grow internally all the time, but periodically they really
feel it. Kind of like an earthquake that is high enough on
the Richter scale. When you've had a shift, the world
looks different and what motivated you before is replaced
by something better and cleaner. What you once tolerated,
you will no longer. The people you spend time with are
replaced by those who truly inspire you. A shift almost
always feels good, but there can be some fallout, like
sadness for letting go, resentment for the costs you had
been incurring prior to the shift, etc. People have maybe
several dozen shifts during a transformed lifetime. They
are turning points worth sharing.
You
need to complain? I fully understand. And you have two
minutes, max, to get it off your chest and don't expect
any coaching about it until you can articulate it like a
request.
A
little effort is good for you, keeps your body, mind and
soul in shape so you can take advantage of life's
opportunities. When you've kept your word in a challenging
situation, stuck with something when everyone else gave
up, honored your standards when it might have been easier
to lower them, tell your coach. It means you've grown and
grown stronger.
Sometimes it helps to make a
promise to your coach. I know I do to mine, particularly
when I need to get something done that I don't fully trust
myself to do on my own. Just tell your coach exactly what
you want to do and when you promise to do it. Your coach
will question you if he/she can't "get" (like
understand or get behind) the promise. The coach wants to
fully support promises which express your values or
further your goals, without a significant cost attached.
Yes, your feelings. Having a bad
day? A good day? A blah day? Tell the coach, tell the
coach, tell the coach. Don't try to keep it a secret (your
coach will usually know anyway). Your coach will not try
to talk you out of it, pep you up or stuff like that. The
coach will get it and fully understand. And, will coach
you on what you want to be coached on.
Do you ever hesitate? Get scared?
Stop part way? Good, you just passed the humanity test.
(Your coach has also passed the test.)
Bogged down in life? Lacking
energy, kinda sleepy? Well, clean out a closet and see
what happens! Whenever you finish a project, complete a
task, catch up on promises, make something right, you open
your life to more good stuff. So, get complete about
everything and keep your coach posted on your progress.
Have a germ of an idea? Discovered
the cure for cancer? Figured out how to make money in MLM?
Ideas like these should be discussed to break out their -
and your - best. So what if the t's aren't crossed yet or
the thing was just put in the oven, share your thoughts
with the coach, who is a safe and nurturing space for even
the more delicate and sensitive ideas. Your coach won't
debate the merits with you; he/she will listen and have
you develop your thoughts to make the most, personally and
financially, of your idea.
From time to time, you will be
asked to articulate the value and benefits you have
received working with the coach. Sometimes the value is
there, but it takes a brief conversation to bring it to
full realization.
You are writing the coach a check
each month, so there should be some financial value
created with the coach. It helps both parties to
articulate the immediate and longer-term financial
benefits of your work together.
Did something the coach said last
time (or months ago) show up as useful? Tell the coach.
We're human too.
How is your new project coming? How
is your new business development plan coming? And your
career search? And the book you are writing? Include a
brief status report of your current projects during your
coaching call.
Your coach has experience in life -
and with people. Feel free to get the best of your coach's
thinking, particularly useful given how well the coach
knows your strengths and style.
If
you make a significant decision between sessions, please
keep the coach informed. You'll be made right, regardless.
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